"school's (almost) out for summer"

i'm so glad that school's almost over for the semester! one more year and i'm free! yeah, free to go to grad school. in fact, i really should start looking at those. it's scary, moving on to a new stage in life. of course, what's scarier is the thought that i'm nearly through with college and my dating stats so far are this: 1 bono-fied boyfriend, 1 quasi-almost boyfriend, countless crushes, 0 real dates. not even a blind one. pathetic huh? oh, i forgot; i haven't even been kissed in 3, almost 4 years! 4 YEARS!! and that was just random play; it wasn't even meaningful. i know i came to college to learn and get a degree, blah blah blah, but i also thought there'd be some fun fringe benefits. like that first almost-serious-but-not-quite-marriage-material college boyfriend, the one where it's almost love but just doesn't work out. or even a half-way sorta friend/boyfriend with whom you use for going out when dateless or even random making out when you're really lonely, but it never goes anywhere. or even just random drunk-making-out-at-a-party-with kinda guy. but i've only been to about 2 of those kind of parties and at one, there were hardly any guys, let alone make-out worthy guys, and at the second, most of the guys were gay and the v. few straight ones were either taken or v. undersireable...or sorta ambiguous (are they actually straight, are they with so-and-so, etc.). and then evie informed me that i'm not actually the type who does that sort of thing. but that's the thing: i've never done it because i've never had the opportunity. in junior high and freshman year of HS i was starting to get a little wild: drinking wine coolers, sharing a cigarette between 4 girls, hosting make-out parties at my house. and then i turned around, got baptized, and stopped it altogether. no more smoking or drinking, v. little making out (mainly because i didn't go to the kind of parties and places where that was being done). i was a good girl. and i stayed that way for the most part. with the exception of now drinking (though in moderation and i am legal now) and andrew...my 4-year ago this October random play pal). but otherwise, i think i'm just too damn good for my own good. good, clean fun is all well and...good, but sometimes you want fun that's a little more fun, a little more...dirty (but not in any way Christina Aguilera style. that's icky-dirty). when the whole thing with andrew happened, i remember being excited and feeling something akin to what i hope passion is (see, not even sure what passion is, other than my passion for writing or watching LOTR...and Orlando...and Viggo...and we'll stop now before this gets really embarassing). I'm talking real, physical, i-want-to-take-you-in-a-manly-fashion type passion. and it saddens me that the closest i've ever come was kissing andrew (and in all truthfulness, i think the excitement and loosely called "passion" there was more from doing something out of character and slightly naughty, not from andrew himself, though at the time i thought he was kinda dreamy...but then i grew up). and it's not like i haven't had any offers (some of them were even of the definitely sleezy variety); it's just that i haven't wanted to take them (especially the sleezy ones), either because the guy was undesireable or wanted more than i was willing to give (see sleezy reference above). i may want a little dirty fun, but i still have limits and boundaries which won't be breached until i'm good and married. however, making out isn't one of them. i'm not that much of a prude. and it's all really just a safety measure anyway. once he's married me, he's kinda stuck with me. but is there something wrong me? do i look friendly? do i look personable? do i look approachable? because it seems to me that no one wants to approach me. do i have a big, flashing, neon sign above my head that says, "Don't take to me and definitely don't ask me out!" `a la a Bugs Bunny cartoon? i mean, what's the problem? why do i never get asked out or even talked to by decently attractive guys? i'm not asking for brad pitt here, just a nice, decent guy to talk to me and get to know me and maybe even ask me out to a movie. other girls get asked all the time. why don't i?